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ANECDOTES about ELEANOR BERRY by Rozanne Robinson PhD., Professor in English Literature, now occupying her time as a freelance journalist.
"He'll Smash Copenhagen, if you don't do as I say!"
When six years old, Berry had a tendency to believe everything she was told, particularly by members of her family.
One of her older brothers used her gullibility to his advantage. He made her interested in what he wanted her to do by telling her what he called a "vital secret" which he said only he knew about, and said it regarded a matter of a potential threat to the safety of the Western world.
"I'll tell you," he said. "You're not to repeat it. Only you and I will know about it. I have a strong influence over most Heads of State and I advise them, regularly, on the telephone."
Berry automatically believed this. "Well, what is your secret?" she asked. Her brother spoke in a hushed voice. "I am bribing Khrushchev with 7 and 6 a week, not to drop a hydrogen bomb on Copenhagen. If I don't pay him, he will do so." "How long have you been paying him for?"
"Six months, but he has ordered me to alter the arrangement, slightly."
"In what way?" "He has told me that my act of paying him deserves a reward and that he will launch his missiles within two hours if he finds out I have not been rewarded."
"How does he want you to be rewarded?" asked the sister. "This is where we come to the point. He feels very strongly that you should run errands whenever I ask you to, generally fetch and carry for me, and bring a basin of soapy water to my bed after breakfast so that I don't have to get out of bed to shave."
Berry was completely taken in. "How will Khrushchev find out if I refuse to do what you want?"
"Very easily," said the brother. "Do you remember when some men came to the house last week, dressed up as workmen, saying they had come to do repairs on the house?"
"Yes. What about them?"
"They weren't really workmen. They were Russian agents disguised as workmen. They were sent to bug the house, that is to say, put wires and microphones behind the walls of every room, to make sure you would run errands for me.
That way, Khrushchev will know immediately if you refuse to do so and his first reaction will be to Nuke Copenhagen."
"Is this really true?" "I'm afraid it is. Every word of it."
The sister thought for some time. She had never been to Copenhagen, but the thought of its whole population being wiped out, horrified her.
"All right, I'll do anything you ask me to do." "That's my girl!"
Berry continued to run errands for about a month and asked her brother a question.
"How do you manage to get the 7 and 6 a week posted to Khrushchev?"
"That's easy. I just write out a cheque for 7 and 6 and I post it in an envelope marked `urgent life-saving powders', addressed to the Kremlin."
"May I post these letters for you every week?" asked the sister.
"Oh, no! Khrushchev says I've got to do that myself, without anyone seeing me doing it."
Berry finally became suspicious about the weekly bribes to Khrushchev, to prevent him bombing Copenhagen.
The brother and sister were sitting in the garden. He said, "Could you please go up to my room and bring me a paper back book called No Orchids for Miss Blandish by James Hadley Chase."
"No, I don't think I will," said the sister.
"Have you no compassion for the poor, poor Danes?" replied the brother.
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